Sports Seriously has received nearly a thousand e-mails from baseball fans across the country who are reacting in HORROR and disbelief that the Dodgers continue to have, by far, the best record in all of baseball. The Sports Seriously franchise and all who work here concur with that horror. Rooting for the Dodgers is like rooting for a Mexican drug cartel. But even if you dislike the Dodgers the way you rightly should, it brings great joy to see Juan Pierre shoving it down everyone's throat (including the Dodgers themselves.) That dude got zero respect from anybody and he's batting a notch under .400. And I cannot stress the importance of the way Juan Pierre wears the high socks and flies all over the field. Yeah, he has no throwing arm but just to overstate it - you simply must admire the way this surprising baseball hero plays the game. Hate the team, not the player.
***I Hate, I Hate When The Lakers Play So Great!***
It's always makes for more fun copy when the Lakers play like movie stars and jack 3's and don't utilize Lamar Odom but, oh well. Maybe they'll revert to I-Don't-Wanna-Mix-It-Up ball at some point in the Finals against Orlando and the series will end up close. But I don't knoooooow...if they play like they did in putting Denver away, fully in integrated Lamar into the offense, and then you combine that with the fact that Lamar's back will be much better by Thursday (just a contusion,) you're talking about a championship team in six games or less. While that's not horror, it is a little bit frightening.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Chapter 18: What Do Lebron James and Susan Boyle Have in Common?
It's over for the both of them. That's what they share and it doesn't diminish their accomplishments. Seriously is like a rock and even he shed a tear watching that beautiful, ugly-ass Susan Boyle break everybody's heart with that song. Now she's lost "Britain's Got Talent" but I'd still pay to hear her sing. I love that lady. And what can you say about `Bron `Bron after the Cavalier's loss except for "I hope you stay in Cleveland?" Seriously means that seriously. Lebron James going to the Knicks would be the phoniest move to New York since Brett Farve and the Olsen Twins. At least in Cleveland you have a team, `Bron, and it's in the finest state in the union, Ohio, which I will say to `Bron next time I talk to him. `Bron and his people are fans of Sports Seriously, us having known`Bron since he was covering up tattoos with gauze tape so he could qualify to play in high school games so Seriously will be talking to him no matter what kind of crazy things people throw up on this particular sports site. I'll be talking to `Bron and I'll be letting you know. Stay tuned.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Seriously Chapter 17: Titled "No, No, Nene"
That the Lakers demolished the Nuggets, 119-92, to advance to the NBA finals against either the Magic or Cavs is secondary to what just happened Wednesday night.
***Thank God For Lamar Odom***
We've been getting hit hard with e-mails and I even got a fax today. (Who the heck gets faxes anymore?) The consensus seems to be that after Wednesday night's crushing, tide turning, Game 5 victory over the Nuggets, that Seriously deserves some kind of credit or "special props" for pointing out/stressing/elucidating the fact that the great one from the University of Rhode Island, Lamar Odom, is the single most important player for the Los Angeles Lakers, far beyond Jellybean's kid, and he just might be the most important player in all of NBA basketball. As if in the process of providing information as a sports service I'm supposed to come before you and say - hey, call me a soothsayer. Far from it. I'm just reporting what I see and I give thanks to god that I'm lucky enough to have all of you who ask me, "About this thing, what do you think?"
Wearing a special harness to cover the bloody flippin' sack on his badly injured injured back (call it a contusion if you want to,) which had to be drained twice in three days by trainer Gary Vitti, Lamar drops a cool 19, 14, 4 block performance that showed Denver's Dude With the Hairdresser's Name, Nene, just what the area under the basket is all about. A certain poster was rather snarky in referring to the fact that, as reported, Lamar often walks around Los Angeles munching a bag of candy. This poster has been permanently banished form Sports Seriously and will not be heard from again. To speak ill of Lamar (who incidentally is extremely sensitive and can't drink or do drugs to numb himself when his feelings are hurt) is to find yourself persona non grata. As was reported before, Lamar Odom personally told Seriously that, as of this season, he "can't even blow no weed no more."
***NEWSFLASH***
From Elmont, New York. Rachel Alexandra, who became the first philly in 84 years to win the Preakness, and who is Seriously's main gal, WILL NOT run in the 141st Belmont Stakes on June 6, her connections have told Sports Seriously Friday afternoon. I spoke to owner, Jess Jackson, and he told Seriously that Rachel continues to suffer from exhaustion and it would be in her best interest to not race again so soon after the Preakness. Seriously has known Jess for 15 years and takes him at his word. This means (heartbreak) there will be no final, change-the-course-of-the-nation showdown with Mine That Bird who won the Derby and ran second to Rachel at the Preakness. We love this once-in-a-lifetime Rachel Alexandra and only hope she can settle things once and for all at this year's Breeder's Cup, November 4th at Santa Anita which now becomes the televised event that could eclipse the final episodes of "MASH" and "Seinfeld." The sorry consolation is that her withdrawal opens the door for red-hot jockey Calvin Borel to leave Rachel's saddle and takeover Mine That Gold for the Belmont, whom Calvin rode to victory in the Derby.
***Sung To The Tune Of Don Meredith's "The Party's Over"
Cavs pull out Game 5, with `Bron `Bron having to make like a one man gang, but head back to Orlando for tomorrow night's game still down 3-2. The chances of the Cavaliers winning tomorrow night are about as good as me getting into the game as a power forward.
***Thank God For Lamar Odom***
We've been getting hit hard with e-mails and I even got a fax today. (Who the heck gets faxes anymore?) The consensus seems to be that after Wednesday night's crushing, tide turning, Game 5 victory over the Nuggets, that Seriously deserves some kind of credit or "special props" for pointing out/stressing/elucidating the fact that the great one from the University of Rhode Island, Lamar Odom, is the single most important player for the Los Angeles Lakers, far beyond Jellybean's kid, and he just might be the most important player in all of NBA basketball. As if in the process of providing information as a sports service I'm supposed to come before you and say - hey, call me a soothsayer. Far from it. I'm just reporting what I see and I give thanks to god that I'm lucky enough to have all of you who ask me, "About this thing, what do you think?"
Wearing a special harness to cover the bloody flippin' sack on his badly injured injured back (call it a contusion if you want to,) which had to be drained twice in three days by trainer Gary Vitti, Lamar drops a cool 19, 14, 4 block performance that showed Denver's Dude With the Hairdresser's Name, Nene, just what the area under the basket is all about. A certain poster was rather snarky in referring to the fact that, as reported, Lamar often walks around Los Angeles munching a bag of candy. This poster has been permanently banished form Sports Seriously and will not be heard from again. To speak ill of Lamar (who incidentally is extremely sensitive and can't drink or do drugs to numb himself when his feelings are hurt) is to find yourself persona non grata. As was reported before, Lamar Odom personally told Seriously that, as of this season, he "can't even blow no weed no more."
***NEWSFLASH***
From Elmont, New York. Rachel Alexandra, who became the first philly in 84 years to win the Preakness, and who is Seriously's main gal, WILL NOT run in the 141st Belmont Stakes on June 6, her connections have told Sports Seriously Friday afternoon. I spoke to owner, Jess Jackson, and he told Seriously that Rachel continues to suffer from exhaustion and it would be in her best interest to not race again so soon after the Preakness. Seriously has known Jess for 15 years and takes him at his word. This means (heartbreak) there will be no final, change-the-course-of-the-nation showdown with Mine That Bird who won the Derby and ran second to Rachel at the Preakness. We love this once-in-a-lifetime Rachel Alexandra and only hope she can settle things once and for all at this year's Breeder's Cup, November 4th at Santa Anita which now becomes the televised event that could eclipse the final episodes of "MASH" and "Seinfeld." The sorry consolation is that her withdrawal opens the door for red-hot jockey Calvin Borel to leave Rachel's saddle and takeover Mine That Gold for the Belmont, whom Calvin rode to victory in the Derby.
***Sung To The Tune Of Don Meredith's "The Party's Over"
Cavs pull out Game 5, with `Bron `Bron having to make like a one man gang, but head back to Orlando for tomorrow night's game still down 3-2. The chances of the Cavaliers winning tomorrow night are about as good as me getting into the game as a power forward.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Seriously Chapter 16: Boogity Bub Weighs in on NASCAR
When you've played the sports game as long as Seriously has, and have been blessed enough to travel on the inside, getting to go places where I shouldna oughta been, with people you wouldn't really even believe, you tend to accumulate some fantastic personalities along with fantastic sources along the way. Sports Seriously's NASCAR guy, Boogity Bub, is both a personality and a source. He calls himself "a cashed up redneck" because when you go to his property, about an hour outside Charlotte, there's cars and boats scattered everywhere only their all nice. And he'll shoot anything so you best keep your hands in plain sight, even if he's passed you through his gate. This self described "old grease monkey from way back" files this report which will be his first of hopefully many on this site.
Boogity Bub filed this:
As one who lives in the South, aka NASCAR Country, I learned long ago that there's three things you're can't talk about around here: religion, politics and Dale Earnhardt, Jr. Well, all I can say to that is - FUCK DALE EARNHARDT, JR!!!
Ever since NASCAR, which is an acronym for "Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks" made this no-driving, squinty-eyed, in-bred looking, bad acting poser the face of the sport, my love has grown for my most favorite sport...Anything that ain't NASCAR! I am so sick of seeing this dude everywhere I turn on the TV or radio that I'm almost ready to become a fan of "Everybody Loves Raymond" re-runs. Face it, "Junior Nation", you bunch of idiots, you're boy is the Anna Kournikova of NASCAR... Only 1000 times uglier and less sexy. Oh, sure, it's true that "Mr. Lucky Sperm Club" has more fans than anybody in sports next to Tiger Woods but that's where the comparison ends. If Tiger ain't playing in a golf tournament - nobody, and I mean nobody, watches because Tiger alone creates the competition and drama in that sport. If Junior don't race or gets knocked our early, the race actually gets better because you know he won't be out there wrecking people and it's fun to watch his fans whine and freak out. Look, I don't hate the dude personally. Shit, everyone around here knows him. And I know that he didn't ask to be made "The Face of NASCAR". His daddy was an immortal legend and by birth right, he too has been elevated to legend-status which makes NASCAR an big, fat ass-load of money. I'm sure Junior would much rather come to the track, bang a hot babe in his trailer, work on his car, race and then head home for a beer and few days of fishing with his renowned posse. Hell, I'd take that. The dude rarely shows any passion or emotion and would probably prefer that the cameras weren't always there... Well, except for when he's chewing up dialogue in one of his never ending TV commercials. Sorry, there I go hatin' again. But as long as he has a fan base the size of Guam and throngs of worshipers with Jr. tattoos on their bodies, top-tier sponsors paying millions and untold sums coming in from licensing and personal deals, a super-greedy NASCAR will continue to slap his face on everything - time after time, year after year, reminding us all that's it pays to be loved...and hated.
C. 2009 Boogity Bub
Boogity Bub filed this:
As one who lives in the South, aka NASCAR Country, I learned long ago that there's three things you're can't talk about around here: religion, politics and Dale Earnhardt, Jr. Well, all I can say to that is - FUCK DALE EARNHARDT, JR!!!
Ever since NASCAR, which is an acronym for "Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks" made this no-driving, squinty-eyed, in-bred looking, bad acting poser the face of the sport, my love has grown for my most favorite sport...Anything that ain't NASCAR! I am so sick of seeing this dude everywhere I turn on the TV or radio that I'm almost ready to become a fan of "Everybody Loves Raymond" re-runs. Face it, "Junior Nation", you bunch of idiots, you're boy is the Anna Kournikova of NASCAR... Only 1000 times uglier and less sexy. Oh, sure, it's true that "Mr. Lucky Sperm Club" has more fans than anybody in sports next to Tiger Woods but that's where the comparison ends. If Tiger ain't playing in a golf tournament - nobody, and I mean nobody, watches because Tiger alone creates the competition and drama in that sport. If Junior don't race or gets knocked our early, the race actually gets better because you know he won't be out there wrecking people and it's fun to watch his fans whine and freak out. Look, I don't hate the dude personally. Shit, everyone around here knows him. And I know that he didn't ask to be made "The Face of NASCAR". His daddy was an immortal legend and by birth right, he too has been elevated to legend-status which makes NASCAR an big, fat ass-load of money. I'm sure Junior would much rather come to the track, bang a hot babe in his trailer, work on his car, race and then head home for a beer and few days of fishing with his renowned posse. Hell, I'd take that. The dude rarely shows any passion or emotion and would probably prefer that the cameras weren't always there... Well, except for when he's chewing up dialogue in one of his never ending TV commercials. Sorry, there I go hatin' again. But as long as he has a fan base the size of Guam and throngs of worshipers with Jr. tattoos on their bodies, top-tier sponsors paying millions and untold sums coming in from licensing and personal deals, a super-greedy NASCAR will continue to slap his face on everything - time after time, year after year, reminding us all that's it pays to be loved...and hated.
C. 2009 Boogity Bub
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Seriously Chapter 15: Just Make Sure They've Got the High Socks
***Some Things We Know***
- The Astros' Hunter Pence and Pittsburgh's Nyjer Morgan are the two most important players in baseball, worthy of observation and admiration. Not only because of the way they play the game but the way they wear their uniforms with the high socks like they're going to be flying all over the field like Willie Mays or some lofty elongated sentence with all your favorite baseball memories in it.
- Old-school Gas House Gang look and style of play is the only thing worth aspiring to in MLB. Yes, that does sound extremely National League-ish of the Franchise. Just because we cover the American League that doesn't mean we like it. I like real baseball where you go "Holy shit, the pitcher's up. Now what do we do?" And my staff statistician just handed me a slip of paper. Despite all the documented hoo-hoo kerfuffle about how dominant and superior the American League is, I noticed that it's only 5-4 AL in the last 9 World Series'. Granted, the most pulverizing division in the majors is the American League East with Boston, New York, Tampa Bay, Toronto and even Baltimore is interesting but I would trade the lot of them just to have Detroit's Dontrelle Willis return to his old form. See, I hate the league, not the player.
- Barcelona beat Manchester United in dominating fashion, 2-0, to win the UEFA Championship which is the European equivalent of the Super Bowl in soccer. Correspondent Demitri Mantalos, in transit back from Rome, will be filing a complete report as soon as tomorrow so you xenophobic, narrow minded idiots will know exactly what you missed. Some of you truly deserve to be sports slapped.
***No, `Bron `Bron, No!!!***
Yeah, we haven't learned our lesson from the last time when Lebron James and his people came down on us so hard. We really shouldn't, as a franchise and news agency, be making fun of the Cavaliers who seem to be about to lose their Eastern Conference Final series versus the Magic. Especially since `Bron `Bron was kind enough to speak to Sports Seriously after last night's overtime loss when he said, "Damn, I still ain't got nobody around me." Cavs down a nearly insurmountable 3-1. Yeah, heading back home but that's for only one game. But really, truly, truthfully, knowing `Bron for years the way I do, they ain't no telling how far he can take them if Lebron just do what Lebron do.
Stay tuned for soccer, tennis and Sports Seriously's first report from NASCAR Country.
- The Astros' Hunter Pence and Pittsburgh's Nyjer Morgan are the two most important players in baseball, worthy of observation and admiration. Not only because of the way they play the game but the way they wear their uniforms with the high socks like they're going to be flying all over the field like Willie Mays or some lofty elongated sentence with all your favorite baseball memories in it.
- Old-school Gas House Gang look and style of play is the only thing worth aspiring to in MLB. Yes, that does sound extremely National League-ish of the Franchise. Just because we cover the American League that doesn't mean we like it. I like real baseball where you go "Holy shit, the pitcher's up. Now what do we do?" And my staff statistician just handed me a slip of paper. Despite all the documented hoo-hoo kerfuffle about how dominant and superior the American League is, I noticed that it's only 5-4 AL in the last 9 World Series'. Granted, the most pulverizing division in the majors is the American League East with Boston, New York, Tampa Bay, Toronto and even Baltimore is interesting but I would trade the lot of them just to have Detroit's Dontrelle Willis return to his old form. See, I hate the league, not the player.
- Barcelona beat Manchester United in dominating fashion, 2-0, to win the UEFA Championship which is the European equivalent of the Super Bowl in soccer. Correspondent Demitri Mantalos, in transit back from Rome, will be filing a complete report as soon as tomorrow so you xenophobic, narrow minded idiots will know exactly what you missed. Some of you truly deserve to be sports slapped.
***No, `Bron `Bron, No!!!***
Yeah, we haven't learned our lesson from the last time when Lebron James and his people came down on us so hard. We really shouldn't, as a franchise and news agency, be making fun of the Cavaliers who seem to be about to lose their Eastern Conference Final series versus the Magic. Especially since `Bron `Bron was kind enough to speak to Sports Seriously after last night's overtime loss when he said, "Damn, I still ain't got nobody around me." Cavs down a nearly insurmountable 3-1. Yeah, heading back home but that's for only one game. But really, truly, truthfully, knowing `Bron for years the way I do, they ain't no telling how far he can take them if Lebron just do what Lebron do.
Stay tuned for soccer, tennis and Sports Seriously's first report from NASCAR Country.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Seriously Chapter 14: The Los Angeles Movie Stars Lose Game 4
If you don't live in L.A., you wouldn't understand. It's a Kobe-Phil Jackson/Lakers-On-the-Road thing when they show up, get hammered in the middle, hit the f - it switch and decide to pack it in for home court. Yeah, it's the luxury of being up 2-1 in games but it's also akin to not wanting to drive your Lexus into a certain neighborhood because there's a chance that it might somehow get scratched. Whatever, finesse guys. The Nuggets' Martin, Anderson and the thick brother with the hairdresser's name, Nene, combine for 42 rebounds, more than the entire Laker team and the Lakers decide to have none of it. Not taking away from the fact that Denver destroyed them, they did. The Lakers couldn't do a damn thing and by the end of the game looked like they were watching a wood chipper. But it is Phil and Kobe, y'all. They've got so many championship rings between them that you ultimately can't really say anything unless they get eliminated. Anybody want to make that bet?
***Jose Canseco, Though Vindicated, Still Deserves to Get His Ass Kicked***
Seriously doesn't care care how right Jose Canseco was in exposing the prevalence of steroids in baseball with his book, "Juiced." He's still relentlessly ignorant, has that repulsive, self-righteous facial tick and looks like every guy who ever tried to sell me cocaine. Furthermore, as a big fan and believer in MMA (When it comes to sports, Seriously likes things/teams/people that aren't much worth liking, remember? I'm a Clipper fan, I'm actually concerned about Jeff Gordon's back injury and will it keep him out of his car and I think Yoko Ono is kind of cool. You feel me?) As a mixed martial arts fan, Seriously was seriously appalled Saturday night when Jose Canseco thought he could train for only three weeks and actually fight in MMA Dream 9 and I was as proud as a doting father of the 8-foot, 400 pound China man that kicked the living shit out of him in 76 seconds. His name is Hong Man Choi and he'll be my guest next week on this site. Discovered wandering around with an axe in his hand in the forest of China's Hung Tsi province six years ago by actor Chazz Palminteri while on location filming "Zena: Warrior Princess, Now!," Hong Man Choi is more than a fighter, more than my guest next week, he's an inspiration. Much like Danny Bonaduce and former Eagles kicker Vai Sikahema, Seriously just seriously likes anybody who kicks Jose Canseco's ass.
- A dude who looked like he was starving to death won yesterday's Los Angeles Marathon. Kenya's Wesley Korir won the men's title with a time of 2:08, winning 160,000 dollars, a Honda Accord EX and hopefully some potted meat, for god sakes. The woman's title was won in a time of 2:25 by a Russian gal named, Tatiana.
- James Blake is the only early round casualty at tennis' French Open so far. If that sounds like thin coverage for a major grand slam event, it is. Sports Seriously correspondents have refused to transmit copy from Roland Garros until at least the third round, saying the tournament is a "cattle call" at this point. While the Franchise is new to comprehensive tennis coverage and we definitely want to leave it to the pros, I think staff is drinking too much wine and not doing their job. I will have updates and word on copy by tomorrow, however. Things are getting a little too French right now and I'm kind of pissed about it.
***Jose Canseco, Though Vindicated, Still Deserves to Get His Ass Kicked***
Seriously doesn't care care how right Jose Canseco was in exposing the prevalence of steroids in baseball with his book, "Juiced." He's still relentlessly ignorant, has that repulsive, self-righteous facial tick and looks like every guy who ever tried to sell me cocaine. Furthermore, as a big fan and believer in MMA (When it comes to sports, Seriously likes things/teams/people that aren't much worth liking, remember? I'm a Clipper fan, I'm actually concerned about Jeff Gordon's back injury and will it keep him out of his car and I think Yoko Ono is kind of cool. You feel me?) As a mixed martial arts fan, Seriously was seriously appalled Saturday night when Jose Canseco thought he could train for only three weeks and actually fight in MMA Dream 9 and I was as proud as a doting father of the 8-foot, 400 pound China man that kicked the living shit out of him in 76 seconds. His name is Hong Man Choi and he'll be my guest next week on this site. Discovered wandering around with an axe in his hand in the forest of China's Hung Tsi province six years ago by actor Chazz Palminteri while on location filming "Zena: Warrior Princess, Now!," Hong Man Choi is more than a fighter, more than my guest next week, he's an inspiration. Much like Danny Bonaduce and former Eagles kicker Vai Sikahema, Seriously just seriously likes anybody who kicks Jose Canseco's ass.
- A dude who looked like he was starving to death won yesterday's Los Angeles Marathon. Kenya's Wesley Korir won the men's title with a time of 2:08, winning 160,000 dollars, a Honda Accord EX and hopefully some potted meat, for god sakes. The woman's title was won in a time of 2:25 by a Russian gal named, Tatiana.
- James Blake is the only early round casualty at tennis' French Open so far. If that sounds like thin coverage for a major grand slam event, it is. Sports Seriously correspondents have refused to transmit copy from Roland Garros until at least the third round, saying the tournament is a "cattle call" at this point. While the Franchise is new to comprehensive tennis coverage and we definitely want to leave it to the pros, I think staff is drinking too much wine and not doing their job. I will have updates and word on copy by tomorrow, however. Things are getting a little too French right now and I'm kind of pissed about it.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Seriously Chapter 13: The Worst Thing You Can Do is Win?
- Seriously needs to get this straight. The Padres just came back from six runs down in extra innings to win their 10th game in a row and all they're trying to do is break up the Padres. Every other report has Jake Peavy's going here or there, they're trying to trade Adrian Gonzalez and they're fed up with Kevin Kouzmanoff.
***Also From "The Worst Thing You Can Do is Win" File***
- After Seriously's favorite gal, Rachel Alexandra, made history two weeks ago as the first philly in 84 years to win the Preakness (she swept the field,) sources now say it's questionable whether she'll make her final show-down-destiny run against Derby winner, Mine That Gold, for the Belmont Stakes. While Sports Seriously reported Rachel's digestive/stomach issue the day after the Preakness, we had also subsequently verified that she was back on her regular training schedule as of last week. Then today, staff spoke to owner, Jess Jackson, who stated he was uncertain (this morning) of the Preakness champion's status for the Belmont Stakes on June 6. We spoke to him after he had just finished working her out at Churchill Downs. "What else does she have to prove?" Jackson said. "The Preakness was a gamble and we don't have to gamble anymore." He further characterized her as a "tired horse." At the same time we spoke to trainer, Steve Asmussen, who said Rachel Alexandra was "comfortable, happy, and agreeable, and today looked like nothing more than an extended gallop," adding that he advised Jackson that he should wait on a (Belmont) decision.
Is Rachel Alexandra a sick horse? Will we be denied the most exciting Belmont Stakes in history? Rachel Alexandra versus Mine That Gold, who finished second at Preakness, would elevate horse-racing to the forefront of national consciousness and change the way we live our lives as Americans. And that's not even taking into account the jockey controversy! After red-hot Calvin Borel rode Mine That Gold to victory at the Derby, he then rode Rachel Alexandra to victory at the Preakness. Now he refuses to say which horse he will ride in the Belmont and that's AFTER Rachel's health issue of today. It's becoming quite apparent that horse racing exceeds the economy, Iraq and health care as it relates to issues of national importance.
- Right as Seriously was hammering the NBA Eastern Conference Finals into granite as a classic, the teams lay a thug-ball stinker in last night's game three, an Orlando ten-point victory featuring 58 fouls, 86 free-throws, two technical's and a flagrant. Through the thuggery and blown whistles it was less a case of Orlando kicking tail than it was the Cavaliers getting exposed as a team of two guys total. `Bron `Bron gets 41, Mo Williams 15, not much else and a mighty 8 points off Cleveland's bench. After making history in the last game, `Bron `Bron goes 11 of 28, 1 of 8 from three point land, has no flow and Orlando is up 2-1 in series.
***Sorry Sight For Cleveland Fans***
Ilgauskas, your doughy seven-foot center continually lumbering out to the perimeter, angling for three point shots, missing every one of them and conceding the entire basket area to Dwight Howard who is making Ilgauskas look like he belongs behind a meat slicer. If you're the Orlando Magic, you're happy. If you're an NBA fan you want to hit reset.
- The two most odious squads in the National League are the Cubs and Mets who are major market teams loaded with stars and they play lousy team baseball. They're gaudy when they win (which is never) and they're punks when they lose. The San Francisco Giants aren't a particularly winning team but if you beat them, it's 2 - 1 or 3 - 2 and they're an actual baseball team. The Mets and Cubs are totally dysfunctional with they're Milton Bradleys and Gary Sheffields and Seriously seriously enjoys watching them both get stomped.
- ESPN, yes we do mention the competition, (especially when they're off they're bloomin' rockers,) has their weekly MLB Power Rankings out and they list the Dodgers at #1, ahead of the Red Sox and Yankees. They also have the Angels at 12th after the Angels nearly dismantled the Dodgers in their three game series just finished AT Dodger Stadium. Yeah, the Dodgers still have the best record and, yeah, we were making jokes only a few days ago about them winning every game but they have a newly blown-out hole in their pitching staff with no starters beyond Billingsley, Kershaw and Wolf and an exhausted bullpen that's starting to get bombed. They're still one of the top teams but #1? It's imperative that the Sports Seriously franchise overtake ESPN so a silly power ranking such as this never again has relevance or even sees the light of day. But fear not. At over 246,000 hits since going online less than three weeks ago, we are well on our way to blowing ESPN's doors off and taking care of the problem. So we thank you again for all for the correspondences, atta-boys and eh, not so goods. The way you've supported Sports Seriously from the beginning is a daily inspiration to us and may god bless you for it.
- Today marked the beginning of the French Open tennis championship. We'll have reports directly from Roland Garros starting tomorrow.
- NBA Western Conference Finals, game four coverage tomorrow as well.
Stay tuned.
***Also From "The Worst Thing You Can Do is Win" File***
- After Seriously's favorite gal, Rachel Alexandra, made history two weeks ago as the first philly in 84 years to win the Preakness (she swept the field,) sources now say it's questionable whether she'll make her final show-down-destiny run against Derby winner, Mine That Gold, for the Belmont Stakes. While Sports Seriously reported Rachel's digestive/stomach issue the day after the Preakness, we had also subsequently verified that she was back on her regular training schedule as of last week. Then today, staff spoke to owner, Jess Jackson, who stated he was uncertain (this morning) of the Preakness champion's status for the Belmont Stakes on June 6. We spoke to him after he had just finished working her out at Churchill Downs. "What else does she have to prove?" Jackson said. "The Preakness was a gamble and we don't have to gamble anymore." He further characterized her as a "tired horse." At the same time we spoke to trainer, Steve Asmussen, who said Rachel Alexandra was "comfortable, happy, and agreeable, and today looked like nothing more than an extended gallop," adding that he advised Jackson that he should wait on a (Belmont) decision.
Is Rachel Alexandra a sick horse? Will we be denied the most exciting Belmont Stakes in history? Rachel Alexandra versus Mine That Gold, who finished second at Preakness, would elevate horse-racing to the forefront of national consciousness and change the way we live our lives as Americans. And that's not even taking into account the jockey controversy! After red-hot Calvin Borel rode Mine That Gold to victory at the Derby, he then rode Rachel Alexandra to victory at the Preakness. Now he refuses to say which horse he will ride in the Belmont and that's AFTER Rachel's health issue of today. It's becoming quite apparent that horse racing exceeds the economy, Iraq and health care as it relates to issues of national importance.
- Right as Seriously was hammering the NBA Eastern Conference Finals into granite as a classic, the teams lay a thug-ball stinker in last night's game three, an Orlando ten-point victory featuring 58 fouls, 86 free-throws, two technical's and a flagrant. Through the thuggery and blown whistles it was less a case of Orlando kicking tail than it was the Cavaliers getting exposed as a team of two guys total. `Bron `Bron gets 41, Mo Williams 15, not much else and a mighty 8 points off Cleveland's bench. After making history in the last game, `Bron `Bron goes 11 of 28, 1 of 8 from three point land, has no flow and Orlando is up 2-1 in series.
***Sorry Sight For Cleveland Fans***
Ilgauskas, your doughy seven-foot center continually lumbering out to the perimeter, angling for three point shots, missing every one of them and conceding the entire basket area to Dwight Howard who is making Ilgauskas look like he belongs behind a meat slicer. If you're the Orlando Magic, you're happy. If you're an NBA fan you want to hit reset.
- The two most odious squads in the National League are the Cubs and Mets who are major market teams loaded with stars and they play lousy team baseball. They're gaudy when they win (which is never) and they're punks when they lose. The San Francisco Giants aren't a particularly winning team but if you beat them, it's 2 - 1 or 3 - 2 and they're an actual baseball team. The Mets and Cubs are totally dysfunctional with they're Milton Bradleys and Gary Sheffields and Seriously seriously enjoys watching them both get stomped.
- ESPN, yes we do mention the competition, (especially when they're off they're bloomin' rockers,) has their weekly MLB Power Rankings out and they list the Dodgers at #1, ahead of the Red Sox and Yankees. They also have the Angels at 12th after the Angels nearly dismantled the Dodgers in their three game series just finished AT Dodger Stadium. Yeah, the Dodgers still have the best record and, yeah, we were making jokes only a few days ago about them winning every game but they have a newly blown-out hole in their pitching staff with no starters beyond Billingsley, Kershaw and Wolf and an exhausted bullpen that's starting to get bombed. They're still one of the top teams but #1? It's imperative that the Sports Seriously franchise overtake ESPN so a silly power ranking such as this never again has relevance or even sees the light of day. But fear not. At over 246,000 hits since going online less than three weeks ago, we are well on our way to blowing ESPN's doors off and taking care of the problem. So we thank you again for all for the correspondences, atta-boys and eh, not so goods. The way you've supported Sports Seriously from the beginning is a daily inspiration to us and may god bless you for it.
- Today marked the beginning of the French Open tennis championship. We'll have reports directly from Roland Garros starting tomorrow.
- NBA Western Conference Finals, game four coverage tomorrow as well.
Stay tuned.
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