Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Seriously Chapter 30: The Fightin's Is Frightenin'

Seriously and Sports Seriously have concluded today that the Philadelphia Phillies are the best team in the National League this year. Yes, this would be our official call. Seriously and the entire staff have been under pressure to release the call before the All-Star break even though, per tradition, we don't usually release until the second week of August. It's not just the ceaseless hectoring of Dodger Tony that brought this decision but with the quietly staggering economy there is a general sense of uneasiness in the air. (Even Seriously's stocks have said, "Throw me a sack of rocks." I've lost more money in the last two weeks than Farmer John has lost dogs. And yeah, I don't mind writing things that aren't quite funny.) In this difficult climate people who are faced with such incredible uncertainty in their everyday lives should at least feel that their baseball thoughts are of strong rudder (as those of us who skipper boats might say.)
Philadelphia's .531 winning percentage pales in comparison to the Dodgers' incessant, non-stop, maddening ability to win constantly and continuously but the Phillies, with their punishing offense, are destined to pick up another starting pitcher and the karma gods will likely kick in in L.A. They have the best defense in baseball, a great veteran bullpen and haven't had Raul Ibanez for who knows how long though he'll be back in time to start for the National League in the All-Star game. There's also the little matter of being defending World Series Champions. We see the Dodgers cruising to the best record in the National League and then having an interesting time against a wild-card Giants team featuring a one-two punch of Lincecum-Cain (with Sadowski a third?) Hmm.
Truth be told, we value your opinions more than our own and look forward to your thoughts.


  1. Sorry, NL East worst division in the NL. Phils destined to crumble when Mets return full strength. They will have to mortgage their entire future for Halladay, which will not happen. Mets will make a strong run after they get to full strength, but after the Dodgers get Halladay AND Cliff Lee before the trading deadline, your disgusting logic will twirl down the drain like your putrid and sickly stool.

  2. I can see the Dodgers getting Halladay, Cliff Lee AND Adrian Gonzales for Mark Loretta, Cory Wade, Claudio Vargas, Chad Ohman, Juan Castro, Eric Stultz, James MacDonald, Ronald Bellesario, Jeff Hamilton and Ruta Lee.

  3. I woke up this morning wondering if the Phils will repeat. I surmised that they are the defending champs and we shall see.

    It seems that lately in baseball, there doesn't seem to be that team that wins a bunch of championships. You have to go back to the Yanks in the nineties.

    Boston right now is the only team to win a few in this decade.

    What's your opinion on a Dodger/Yankee series?

  4. After a lengthy statistical analysis of the Dodgers without any of the analysis, my dear friend, a longtime contributor to Dodgerthoughts who shall remain nameless, and I have finally slogged through all of the statistical nomenclature to come to something akin to Stan Conte's new injurymetric algorithm (featured in today's NY Times...that's right you heard me), and have decisively agreed as to what the Dodgers MUST have to proceed elegantly into October and, most hopefully, into the kith and kin of November.

    The Dodgers MUST acquire not an inning's eating machine on the mound, but a bona fide top of the rotation ACE, if not two of them, and a mashing number four hole hitter. This addresses both areas of most immediate concern to the team: their lack of a bona fide top of the rotation ACE and a number four hole masher.

    If the Dodgers wish to avoid the Chicago Cubs model of '08 and proceed apace into that good night, Ned Colletti must add these two signature elements. If the team stands pat and hopes beyond hope that Wolf and Kuroda and Kershaw have the stuff and substance to withstand such pressure, and that Andre Ethier can provide that power and strike fear into the heart of CC and Co., then more power to him. Mr. Colletti will be handing over the reigns to Ms. Ng before Holloween.



  5. In addition, Jamie Moyer and Cole Hammels lead the NL in batting average allowed.

    Eat my kishkas Joe Blanton!

  6. Good observation. I too thought that we needed help in the pitching department, but since the guys have been winning, I kept that thought to myself. But, seriously, (No not you Mr. Seriously) is this pitching staff that good? I would like to think so, but Dodger Tony is correct. We need an Ace and a good 4th hitter that will strike fear into the opposing hitters.

    No complaints, just trying to figure what might happen so we don’t end up like the Cubs or the Tigers.

    I saw parts of the Giants/Padres game. San Diego was only two runs back and probably could catch up. But, the pitcher for the Giants looked tough. Then the floodgates were opened in the fifth and it was horrible. Two homeruns on two consecutive pitches. Glad the Dodgers won last night.

    I have a question for Mr. Seriously. Watching those two homeruns made me wonder, what’s the record for the most consecutive homeruns off of consecutive pitches?

  7. Seriously has more professional skills than Dodger Tony which trumps his superior intellect a.k.a. I'm running an agency here while Tony's running his mouth. The relationship between Dodger Tony and Sports Seriously is mostly one of great symbiosis, however. We keep Tony away from the offices, he likes to do his own thing, and, of course, we're in awe of his work which is artistry. But there is collective laughter here at the Franchise in reading that Dodger Tony is propping the New York Mets as winners of the Eastern Division this year. We'd love to hear that narrative. But maybe bestly (??) Dodger Tony should stick to his team and just file his reports.

  8. Michael, I'm putting people on that as we speak and I'll have the answer for you shortly. We don't want you to get any bad info. Thanks, S.

  9. Thanks Mr. Seriously. The only thing I can find is the most by one pitcher in one inning. I think the Dodgers broke that a few years ago. But, I was wondering how many homers where hit from consecutive pitches. I guess it's something no ones ever thought before. I would not have if I didn't see the Giants hit two a few days ago.