Friday, September 18, 2009

Seriously Chapter 44: The N.L. West is Frisky

Hate to blow smoke up the West Coast's rear, but isn't this National League West the most exciting division in baseball at this point? These Dodgers, Giants and Rockies just stomping all over each other? The Giants have built their foundation (un-Giant-like) on pitching and now have the nerve to be hitting the ball, the Dodgers are playing like the Dodgers of June and the Rockies look like they could reel off six straight at any time. Dodger Tony, doing his usual lurking around every crevice of the organization, has gotten word from Joe Torre himself that the Dodgers see themselves getting to the World Series with not much problem, Joe specifically pointing out, "...nobody's had more pressure-cooker games than us. This regular season has made even our youngest guys, grizzled veterans." That's pretty big talk when the Dodgers have looked so crappy, so often these last two months. But how can you argue with Bigelow Joe? Full disclosure if you're not in the know: Seriously has known Joe Torre for 26 years and absolutely anybody who does know him knows he drinks Bigelow Decaffeinated Green Tea like you and I breathe air. Between the consumption of tea and his old-man prostate, I'd say Joe goes to the john every six minutes if you happen to be sitting in his office at the stadium. But anyway, Bigelow Joe makes the call that the Los Angeles Dodgers will play for it all. Seriously and the staff have the Dodgers getting dispatched by whoever they play in the first round but that's something I'll have to say to Joe in person.

Let's Just Punk Another Brother

Dateline Cleveland 9/17/09: Cavaliers forward, Delonte West, was escorted into the white racist power structure (aka our judicial system) when he was pulled over Thursday night and arrested for speeding (allegedly) on his motorcycle. Not having a trunk at his disposal (duh, he's on a motorcycle) Delonte had no available storage which is why he, logically, had to carry both of his hand guns on his person. Nor was their room for his Remington 870 shotgun which he, respectfully, had hidden in a guitar case and slung across his back (so as not to alarm people, yo.) For love of god and all that is good, can we please leave these professional athletes alone? Let these young men be. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I speak for myself and the entire Sports Seriously staff when I say I despise racism in any form.


  1. Not sure if this is turning into a Dick Tracy crime reporting notebook blog, but then professional sports and felonies have always gone hand in hand, right? Just have to apologize to you, Seriously, for doubting your perspicacity in selecting the Bengals as AFC rep in the Super Bowl. They looked unstoppable at Lambeau today. tb

  2. Not to worry, Anon. Making the calls is what I do and I wouldn't consider you a doubter at all. Lord knows I've got those. Sports Illustrated's Peter Vescey and I literally spit on each other when we're in the same room. Seriously is honored that you choose to get your sports information from this agency and as long as I'm drawing breath, I'll make the calls as I see them with a combination of mental acuity and the sports prognostication equivalent of McDonald's Special Sauce which will forever remain a mystery like the Colonel's Secret Spices. I'm not saying that both Cincinnati and Seattle will finish the season 16 and 0 but 2 and 0 isn't half bad as a start.