Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Seriously Chapter 21: Phil, You Can't Let This Fat Slob Beat You

Sports Seriously almost has all of our NBA Finals correspondents in place, two in each city, including special guest, Moses Malone, who will be on this site throughout.


So here we are, nearly on the eve of what will likely be the most dynamic, dramatic NBA Finals match-up in the history of the sport. With a potential for drama far exceeding any of the classic Laker-Celtic showdowns of the past. The spectre of Kobe Bryant versus Dwight Howard looks to dwarf Magic Johnson versus Larry Bird. Judging by the e-mail bombs we're getting, there's white hot intense heat down on the street for this bad boy of a series. The L.A. Times just did an article on Trevor Ariza. Have you seen Dwight Howard with his cape?

Meanwhile, things are so locked down in Laker Land, even Seriously cannot reach Phil Jackson whom Seriously has known for years. My message to him, when I finally get through (and I always do,) will be simple. Orlando's little fat slob of a coach cannot be permitted to beat you, Phil. Now, Phil has a masterful sense of humor but you usually have to let him initiate it. (Honestly, most of my conversations with Phil have been about music.) But he'll know what I'm getting at with my comment about the Orlando coach. And don't worry, I'll let you all know what Phil says. Frankly, I don't think anybody in the media is saying anything about how Stan Van Gundy is a little fat guy with a mustache. It's something this reporter is not going to let go of.

Get ready for the 2009 NBA Championship Series beginning this Thursday evening, 9:00pm EST on ABC. Looks like it's gonna be another ball burner.

***French Open Blood Letting***

Tomorrow, Sandro di Parma will fill you in on some of the carnage at Roland Garros as heads are starting to roll.

***Pittsburgh Lives***

If only that were true of Sports Seriously's NHL Finals Coverage. Detroit in 6.

Stay tuned.


  1. You don’t pull on Superman’s cape
    You don’t spit at Coach Pat
    You don’t beat Jackson in the Finals
    And you don’t mess around with Fat.

  2. Seriously feels poster Pascoe is a poet and a song writer.

  3. Mr. Sports Seriously, you will never guess who came to my desk? Future phenom Bryce Harper. Harper was a high school baseball player that made the cover of Sports Illustrated this month.

    He is going to play for our Coyotes here at the College of Southern Nevada for one year before going pro. I hope we can win another national championship now that we have him.

  4. Seriously has only met Bryce once, last year in Long Beach at the Area Code games, and has actually had more conversations with his parents, Ron and Sheri, than the kid himself. He's top notch with an phenominal future ahead of him. I would be shocked if he wasn't in the majors BEFORE age 18. He's already a Boras kid and, oh, the plans Scott has.

  5. Yeah, his mother does most of the talking. I too think he is going to be great.