Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Seriously Chapter 24: If It Makes You Happy, Why Are You So Sad?

Seriously is of the opinion that Sports Seriously fans in Orlando ought to be ashamed of themselves and might consider not utilizing this agency for their news. With your ALL CAPS and !!!!! Explanation points !!!!! Crying and puking about how Gasol should have been charged with goal tending after he, I guess, brushed the basket on little Boo-Boo, Courtney Lee's tight little rookie missed shot. This after your precious Superman had put his hand up through the basket, for all the world to see, on one of Gasol's earlier shots.

The Orlando Magic is a team that deserves to be put away much like the McCain campaign of `08.

***Thank The Good Lord Jesus For Lamar Odom***

Seriously said thank GOD for Lamar Odom a week ago and he only got better so I figured I'd go in a different direction with thank Jesus in a nod to all of the Lamar Haters of America who seem to have found this site all of a sudden. 207 e-mails and 8 faxes (who the heck faxes anymore?) and counting from this irrational, yet well-organized bunch, spearheaded up by two keepers of lost souls, Denver Rick and Joaquin. We want your eyeballs, too, fellas. Welcome aboard. I only ask that you obey the rules and be fact-based when submitting anything about Lamar.

To talk about how dominating and MVP-like Lamar Odom has been in this series would be akin to talking about the wetness of water and, in general, the topic of Finals basketball is best left alone as it's not worth discussing until the Orlando Magic win a game.

***Love, Sydney***

Tonight on NBC, 8:00pm, EST, we go bye-bye Penguins. It was Detroit in 6 before this series even started.

***Belmont Post Mortem***

Call it 2 minutes and 27 seconds of yelling, stomping, coronary insanity. "Summer Bird" winning as an 11-1 underdog was staggering, especially since it looked like his cousin, Derby winner, "Mine That Bird," had the race won. I spoke with victorious Kent Desormeaux after the race and he almost sounded like a seventh grade kid and jockeys never sound like that!

***Breeder's Cup Reality***

If they do the Breeder's Cup in November the way they should, having all three horses running, Rachel Alexandra, Mine That Bird and Summer Bird, than God help our tickers. A Breeder's Cup along those lines wouldn't just change horse racing, it would change the way we live our lives as Americans. Seriously and the entire Franchise are, of course, resolved to keep you updated on everything leading up to the race at California's Santa Anita racetrack. We'll have at least three correspondents there the entire week.

***Zenyatta Flash***

Could west-coast heavyweight, "Zenyatta," be waiting in the wings for the Breeder's Cup as the "forgotten best horse in the country?" The three-year-old's trainer, who would not allow him to endure the long travel of the Triple Crown events, says his horse has nothing to prove against "any horse in the world."

***Let's Go, Dodgers***

Let's lose a few games, shall we?

Stay tuned.


  1. Seriously, those rockin' colts are brothers not cousins. Breeders should be great--especially if Rachexandra shows up. TB

  2. Nice come from behind win. I guess the Dodgers think they can spot anyone runs and feel like they can come from behind at any time.

    It should be an interesting season.

  3. Manny is excited about coming back. But, will General Manager Anthony Forkush let him back? Lately, Mr. Forkush has done some smart moves and his team has the best record in baseball. But we'll see when the time comes if he will change his mind and let Manny return.

  4. I beg your hard on.

    There is an excellent take on the Dodgers in today's Wall Street Journal regarding their power outage. The team ranks at the absolute bottom in homeruns and are 14-5 in one run games. Tim Marchman, the journalist, believes that these issues will ultimately derail the team in the second half. I do concur with this take. However, it was positive seeing Ethier and Kemp display some of their potential in this area last night against Chris Young. I suspect it is an illusion though, maybe not for Ethier, as Chris Young may be the worst road pitcher in baseball, and this is his second game giving up four homers to a team.

    If I were the Dodgers, I would seriously consider the possibility of at least one significant trade before the all-star break for an impact bat. Most analysts think the team needs an impact arm. I feel quite differently. But who would you trade for? The truth is that it would most likely have to be either Russell Martin or James Loney. The Indians Victor Martinez is out there on a team that is going nowhere fast. If Colletti was smart, he might consider dealing for Cliff Lee AND Martinez together. I'm not sure what you would have to give up for them, but you would then have the potential of FOUR real home run threats.

    OR in a perfect fantasy world, the Dodgers could go after Jake Peavy and Adrian Gonzalez. This is the most ridiculous statement I have ever made and of course it would NEVER happen. But the power levels suggest this team cannot continue at this pace and will precipitously decline without it. As far as the playoffs go, NO team has won a world series without legitimate power. The only one is the 2002 Angels.

    Things to consider.

    On a more somber note, please take a moment and remember the guard who was butchered by hatred at the Holocaust Museum this morning.

  5. Either plays when he bats behind Manny.

  6. I'll never understand events like that took place at the Holocaust Museum. As long as I live I don't understand hate.

    I don't think wanting Peavy is silly. But, getting him would be impossible because we would have to give up too much of our future players.

  7. I should have said that Either play better when he bats behind Manny. It's difficult to concentrate when there are people walking up to my desk and bugging me.

  8. It's a pleasure watching Dodger Tony having to root around for problems with his team at 20 games above 500. Far better than the miserable converse which puts him on suicide watch, us at the Franchise going to the mattresses, phones and computers into the night. In that sense, go Dodgers.
    Seriously was at the Holocaust Museum with Seriously Sr. just last year and it is a sacred place. The ground there is too hallowed for this event to not end up as teaching moment. I hope everyone watches the memorial service for that guard.