Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Seriously Chapter 15: Just Make Sure They've Got the High Socks

***Some Things We Know***

- The Astros' Hunter Pence and Pittsburgh's Nyjer Morgan are the two most important players in baseball, worthy of observation and admiration. Not only because of the way they play the game but the way they wear their uniforms with the high socks like they're going to be flying all over the field like Willie Mays or some lofty elongated sentence with all your favorite baseball memories in it.

- Old-school Gas House Gang look and style of play is the only thing worth aspiring to in MLB. Yes, that does sound extremely National League-ish of the Franchise. Just because we cover the American League that doesn't mean we like it. I like real baseball where you go "Holy shit, the pitcher's up. Now what do we do?" And my staff statistician just handed me a slip of paper. Despite all the documented hoo-hoo kerfuffle about how dominant and superior the American League is, I noticed that it's only 5-4 AL in the last 9 World Series'. Granted, the most pulverizing division in the majors is the American League East with Boston, New York, Tampa Bay, Toronto and even Baltimore is interesting but I would trade the lot of them just to have Detroit's Dontrelle Willis return to his old form. See, I hate the league, not the player.

- Barcelona beat Manchester United in dominating fashion, 2-0, to win the UEFA Championship which is the European equivalent of the Super Bowl in soccer. Correspondent Demitri Mantalos, in transit back from Rome, will be filing a complete report as soon as tomorrow so you xenophobic, narrow minded idiots will know exactly what you missed. Some of you truly deserve to be sports slapped.

***No, `Bron `Bron, No!!!***

Yeah, we haven't learned our lesson from the last time when Lebron James and his people came down on us so hard. We really shouldn't, as a franchise and news agency, be making fun of the Cavaliers who seem to be about to lose their Eastern Conference Final series versus the Magic. Especially since `Bron `Bron was kind enough to speak to Sports Seriously after last night's overtime loss when he said, "Damn, I still ain't got nobody around me." Cavs down a nearly insurmountable 3-1. Yeah, heading back home but that's for only one game. But really, truly, truthfully, knowing `Bron for years the way I do, they ain't no telling how far he can take them if Lebron just do what Lebron do.

Stay tuned for soccer, tennis and Sports Seriously's first report from NASCAR Country.


  1. Tip from an old Machine fan: Keep your eye on the Reds, wherever they're wearing their socks. This could be their year!

  2. Seriously tries not to speak much in public about Cincinnati Reds baseball as it's far too personal. I'm only working a desk here at the Franchise though it does bear my name. A confession is that Seriously is seriously assuming disaster for the Reds though there are continuous positive signs i.e. Bronson's 2 hour and 8 minute complete game after saying to myself before the game "It's got to be time for Bronson to have one of his outings." That get's scary for a cynic.
    Root Red - Go to Heaven.

  3. I totally agree. The NL IS the game of Baseball, in my humble opinion. Opinyon. Opin, onion.