Friday, May 15, 2009

Seriously Chapter 3: Don't Be Drinking My Blow


- French tennis player Richard Gasquet recently tested positive for cocaine and has remained mum except to say, "I am gathering proof of my innocence." Meanwhile, his best friend on the tour, Marat Safin, quickly rushed to his defense. Safin said, "When you're at a table full of people having fun, it's absurd to have to watch what glass you're drinking from."

- First of all, when Seriously is at a table full of people having fun, I never notice when someone is dropping a mysterious powder into my drink. I'm too busy lovin', yo. And anyway, it's also safe to say I'll be drinking from any random glasses left on the table because I'm just good that way. Additionally, whenever I have blow to snort I always, right away, dump it into a large tumbler of Jameson's on the rocks.

- There's nothing funnier on the planet than Charles Barkley on "Inside the NBA" on TNT with Ernie Johnson and Kenny Smith.

- If the Lakers lose on Sunday it will be the most embarrassing loss in NBA playoff history.

- While I still keep waiting for the Celtics to lose, easily the best player in the playoffs right now is Rajon Rondo.

- There is absolutely nothing in boxing right now besides godly Manny Pacquaio.

- I hope Mark Sanchez tanks in New York. Jet fans, aside from John Maraffi, are totally nauseating.

- Calvin Borel rode 50-1 long shot, Mine that Bird, to victory in the Kentucky Derby and now has switched horses for Saturday's Preakness to the 8-5 favorite, Rachael Alexandra, running AGAINST Mine that Bird. If Rachael Alexandra wins it'll be the first in history for a jockey doing that which damn near borders on interesting, people.

- I know a guy who was at a bar, a few years ago, in Palm Springs where he met Jeanie Buss who is now Executive Vice-President of the Lakers and current girlfriend of Phil Jackson. Jeanie Buss, defining the term "good sport," got totally hammered and blew him under the table. I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Actually it was at and under the bar in a crowd of people. I was witness to the heinous event since it was a buddy 'o mine who received the blowin'.

  3. "There is absolutely nothing is boxing right now besides the ungodly Manny Pacquiao".

    You've said some pretty stupid things in your life, Jamie. This may be the dumbest.

  4. To poster Tony - Seriously referred to "godly" Manny P., not "ungodly" as you wrote. Also, it would do us all a great service if you would weigh in on boxing, who in what division is worth throwing popcorn in the air about. Seriously knows you to be qualified and I would gladly put it up.