Sunday, May 31, 2009

Seriously Chapter 19: Dodgers Winning Narco Baseball

Sports Seriously has received nearly a thousand e-mails from baseball fans across the country who are reacting in HORROR and disbelief that the Dodgers continue to have, by far, the best record in all of baseball. The Sports Seriously franchise and all who work here concur with that horror. Rooting for the Dodgers is like rooting for a Mexican drug cartel. But even if you dislike the Dodgers the way you rightly should, it brings great joy to see Juan Pierre shoving it down everyone's throat (including the Dodgers themselves.) That dude got zero respect from anybody and he's batting a notch under .400. And I cannot stress the importance of the way Juan Pierre wears the high socks and flies all over the field. Yeah, he has no throwing arm but just to overstate it - you simply must admire the way this surprising baseball hero plays the game. Hate the team, not the player.

***I Hate, I Hate When The Lakers Play So Great!***

It's always makes for more fun copy when the Lakers play like movie stars and jack 3's and don't utilize Lamar Odom but, oh well. Maybe they'll revert to I-Don't-Wanna-Mix-It-Up ball at some point in the Finals against Orlando and the series will end up close. But I don't knoooooow...if they play like they did in putting Denver away, fully in integrated Lamar into the offense, and then you combine that with the fact that Lamar's back will be much better by Thursday (just a contusion,) you're talking about a championship team in six games or less. While that's not horror, it is a little bit frightening.


  1. And so, the Jamie Hoffmann, Travis Schlischting era begins. I will be attending tomorrow evening's Dodger game watching my Nippon friend Hiroki Kuroda come off the DL to pitch to the greatest under 22 year old player to ever play the game in Justin Upton. According to scouts, when Jake Peavy threw one of his electrifying patented sliders away to Upton how annhilated the ball to right center. The dude is SICK, and most likely dipped in HGH.

    In any event, the Big Blue Wrecking Crew plays 17 of their next 26 games at home. By the end of June it could be about as gloomy as a muhfugah for everyone in the NL West. Come Manny time, after he wins MVP in the All Star Game Mr. McCourt, the Think Blue Boys should have a nice comfy 20 game lead in the division.

    While all is looking up in Pierreville, I still think the Dodgers need that one additional innings eating faggot to avoid over anal exposure for the pen. Although, with Stults out and Eric Milton assuming the pre Cincinnatti bending over position, it appears that Clayton Kershaw will be rotating in and out of middle relief, which could bode very badly for the NL West....Oh, sorry, I guess it already bodes pretty bad for ya'll LOSERS!

    I don't care what Testicle Boy Kruk says on ESPN, the Red Sox and Yankees should NOT be at the top of the power rankings YOU ASSFUNK! Tommy's Blue Bleeding Boys from Brooklyn are the best team in MLB beyond a certainty.

    Oh, I forgot to mention, I will be procuring one of the old school Dodger caps tomorrow night. Hopefully the one that is kind of shaped like a weird cone with the blue stripes in white. You know the one I'm talking about. The goofy one that everybody wore in the 1980's. The Fernando'y kind of chapo.

  2. Nice blog photo Detective Friday!

  3. Boy, Tony you sure can time things well. First you planned on going to Dodger stadium to see Manny and he gets supended. Then you go again to see the phenom from Nippon struggled.

    On a brighter note, I liked the way our boys in blue came back. If the relief squad didn't throw the wild pitches, we might have caught the Diamondbacks in the ninth.

    Not a bad loss though. They look good even in defeat.